Reddit users were asked: ‘Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you?‘. There were some pretty terrifying responses. Leave a vial of holy water under your pillow.

10. psycho dating advice

‘I jokingly asked: “What’s the best way to get a girlfriend?”

‘7-year-old’s response: “Tell her to be my girlfriend or she’ll never see her parents again”.’ – abluesxs

9. Sibling rivalry

‘My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy its a monster..we should bury it”.’ – Like_I_was_sayin

8. Time is up

‘Not to me, but to his grandmother.

‘He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she’s very old, and will die soon.

‘Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.’ – NotTomPettysGirl

7. Goodbye

‘I was tucking in my two year old. He said “Good bye dad.” I said, “No, we say good night.” He said “I know. But this time its good bye.”

‘Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.’ – UnfortunateBirthMark

6. Beware of monsters

‘While not something my own child has said, my younger cousin (around 5 at the time) once drew a picture of a a black monster, looked up at me, and said “He told me to draw this. He’s coming for you. You better hide.’ – Nilliak

5. Skin peel

‘I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4 year old daughters face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, “I want to peel all your skin off”.

‘The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep addled state however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn’t know if I was dreaming, or what was going on.’ – psalm_69

4. Yet another sibling rivalry

“So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?”

‘3 year old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time.’ – olafthebent

3. Cat crucifixion

‘When I was about 3 we had a cat that had still born kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked: “aren’t those too small?”

‘Dad: “What do you Mean?”

‘Me: “aren’t we going to nail them to them?”

‘Dad: (after several moments silence) “we’re not going to do that”

‘Me: “oh” – Tom_Zarek

2. Resurrection

“Daddy, remember that time we died?” –CtrlShiftZ

1. Decapitated love

‘A friend of mine’s child told him “Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want”.’ – GatorMcGovern

 

 

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